Today marks the kick-off for all
the mad fancy ancient realness going up
for sale in the New York City antiques world.
There are multiple shows you need to know about, mostly listed in descending degree of available funds in your checking account(s).
Here's what to check out this year.
photo by Samuel Bristow
* * *
THE WINTER ANTIQUES SHOW
Where: Park Avenue Armory - 67th Street at Park Ave
When: Friday, January 21st - January 30th
Admission: $20
This show is all about crazy shit you can't believe
a) exists
and
b) exists and is FOR SALE.
Think rare, excellent, and important.
Like, primitive Roman glass.
Who the f*ck has primitive Roman glass and wants to sell it?
I tried this at the Met once and the guard did not think it was so cute.
Needless to say, you cannot afford anything at this show.
If you can, call me and we'll talk, LSotR&F style.
And don't balk at the 20 dollars, cheapies. In addition to admission, you also get a fancy catalog
that you can take home, cut up, and use to make a collage of all your broken dreams favorite things.
Oh, and there is an exhibit on loan from the greedy Historic Charleston Collection which has some amazing Southern goodies to show off but not sell!
Check that out, too.
* * *
THE AMERICAN ANTIQUES SHOW
WHERE: Metropolitan Pavilion - 125 West 18th Street
WHEN: Thursday, January 20th (oops) - Monday, January 23rd
ADMISSION: $20
That said, it is all about:
* country house, country house, country house *
and,
I have a total hard-on for some
outsider folk art.
ANTIQUES AT THE ARMORY
WHERE: The Armory on Lexington Avenue at 26th Street
WHEN: Friday, January 21st through Sunday, January 23rd
ADMISSION: $15
This show's 100 exhibitors will run a pretty versatile gamut.
While you still probably can't afford most fancy things at this show, you do have a better
chance of diverting the vendor long enough to slip a small
piece of canary lustre into your Longchamp - since most of those fags will be ogling
for active in-uniform military personnel.
* * *
AMERICANA ANTIQUES AT THE PIER
WHERE: Pier 92 - 12th Avenue at 55th Street
WHEN: Saturday, January 22nd & Sunday, January 23rd
ADMISSION: $15
This is my favorite show of the weekend.
It is also by far the most versatile in its offerings
* AND *
most of the prices are within reach of the average Man.
Ignore the fact that is says Americana in the title.
It is mostly lying.
Or I am.
Who knows.
What I *do* know is that last year I almost died when I ran into Suzanne Perrault from Antiques Roadshow Perrault-Rago Galleries here getting a coffee, and it is fun to surprise people who don't remember they are famous to a very small, intensely strange community of freaks.
She knows all sorts of great things about decorative ceramics, and I'm coming prepared with questions this time.
AND she has a cute pixie, so I'll be digging her for beauty tips.
I am also sure that freak Gary Sohmers will be here, too.
Look for the asshole in 28 colors of wrong
selling cymbal-handclapping monkeys. He makes me CRAZY.
Though I bet he could help you score some quality Qualudes for Fashion Week if you wanted them...
Maybe I will stop in and say hello to him, too.
Lastly, Stella Show Management (the peeps who produce most of these shows) are famous
for their "alleys" - specially curated sections of a particular vendor type.
This show will have something they're calling BOOK ALLEY, which I imagine
to be a hot spin-off of a Scholastic Book Fair, but with 18th century lithography.
Word.
* * *
THE NEW YORK CERAMICS FAIR
WHERE: National Academy Bohemian National Hall - 321 East 73rd St.
WHEN: Wednesday, January 19th - Sunday, January 23rd
ADMISSION: $20
I have never been to this show, and I am excited to check this out for the first time this year!
Guessing there is all sorts of museum quality ceramic hotness happening here...
Let me know if you have been or will be going!
(Wait. Hold up. Suzanne, don't you wanna hang with me here instead? Call me!)
* * *
JUST THE TIP(S)
While we're on the subject, here are some things that might come in handy this weekend.
SHUTTLES.
It is notable that there are shuttle services between the various shows.
to all of the shows after you've
DISCOUNTS.
If you plan to attend multiple shows, it is wise to ask at admission if they are offering
any deals on tickets good for multiple shows.
Some of them are paired up and
you can get discounted admission for attending both, but they
only subtly advertise this.
BAGS AND TISSUE.
Plastic bags and newspaper are for poor people.
Don't wrap your fancies up like a donut you just found in the dumpster.
Carry your own tote and some wrapping if you know you plan to purchase. Respect.
BARGAINS!
It's part of the game.
The vendors respect you more AND you save some dough.
Careful though.
If a particular piece's tag reads "firm", don't play.
They're serious and it will just piss them off.
Otherwise, have fun learning!
WIDSOM.
There is lots of amazing shit to discover up in here.
Most hardcore decorative arts knowledge is still word-of-mouth.
Ask questions to the vendors who are willing to teach,
and skip purchases from those serving shade. Community, ya heard?
BOYFRIENDS.
All the undercover mad smart cuties will be on. the. prowl.
Say hi.
Don't forget to show love at your regular Flea.
Those vendors will be ready to bargain this weekend and will remember your loyalty.
My fav is, and will always be, Antiques at the Chelsea Garage on 25th between 6th and 7th Avenue.
It's free, and you can also do a fun BLT counter lunch with Sloppy Johnny at the diner next door afterwards.
Happy hunting!!
xx
